Teaching your family to pick things up

Adapted from this article about How to Get Children to Pick Things Up

This article will give you a way to teach your child to pick things up.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging  virtually impossible

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Time - 18 years
• Patience of a saint
• Lots of Loving   
  
• A realization that you might just have to adjust your standards of clean. 

*Realize that when your child grabs things and throws them all onto the floor, something needs to be done. This is not a good way to live. Rarely will they ever learn, on their own or with the help of others for that matter, that things really do not belong on the floor.

*Try to pretend that you are happy. Mommy is so happy you are chunking stuff on the floor!  Look, the good stuff is in the china cabinet! 

*Pretend that it's a game, and you want to play. Lookey here, now mommy is taking the entire contents of your underwear drawer and tossing its contents one garment at a time onto your floor!  This is fun!  Whoo-hooo!    Now, it really isn't a game. No really...it is kind of fun.  I think they are on to something here.  No more folding laundry.  Just chunk it on the floor!  Of course you don't feel like picking up all the toys, clothes, books, and the never-ending list of things that children purposely throw onto the floor, but push all your feelings aside to placate others but just try to look happy, talk happy, and sound happy while you begin picking these things up. Oh yes, confuse them.  They all think you are crazy anyway.  And if they don't, give 'em a few years.

*It would help if you would even sing while you pick things up with them. "I'm sick of this bit, I'm sick of this bit, why can't anyone, pick up their own ....  "   It would be a little more fun for your child, and they will remember this moment. "The moment when mommy's cheese slid off her cracker."

*Ask your child if they want to play. Most children will be happy to "play".  "I throw things down, mommy sings and picks them up!  This is fun!  I'm off to find more things to throw!"

*Once the game is over, and everything is picked up, it probably won't take long for your child to start throwing things down onto the floor again.  You call this progress? 

*Don't let that bother you, though, because you really are teaching them; and they really are learning. Wait, I thought they were still throwing things down.  Delusional, much?  Where's the "learning" that you mention?  The only thing they are learning is that mommy sings and acts crazy when she's angry.

*Eventually, you should begin to start seeing them picking things up on their own. You only have to harbor your frustration and smile for a little over 1.5 decades.

*They might even sing a little song while they are picking up.  Oops.

*If you catch your child picking up, it would be really great if you would join in, and maybe even say things like, "Yay!", and "This is fun!" Or they will realize that it is not fun, like we all know.  Because it's NOT FUN.  Even if you are singing your little songs and doing your jig and smiling and saying "It's fun!"  It's not fun.