Getting Crafty-ish

I am not very crafty.  

I don't like to scrapbook.  

I have a sewing machine, 

and the people who have used it

tell me that it's a good one.

 

 

But I did take this:

 

And turn it in to this:
 

A bulletin board for Carly's Room!

btw those are txt 

whether or not this thing stays "put together" is TBD

when it falls apart, I will not be rotfl

I spray painted the frame, 

(love me some black spray paint)

making sure I destroyed the ugly picture in the process.

Should've worn gloves.  

 

Then I covered it with Cork Squares,

which strangely enough smelled worse than spray paint.

Don't inhale, sweet baby girl.

 

Then I hotglued the fabric on.

Making sure to burn myself a few times in the process.

Because it's not considered a successful hotglue-ing

unless you are peeling hotglue off your blistered fingers.

Then I hung it!

FYI- tour of this room to follow 

as soon as window treatment is finished

by my mom

using my sewing machine. 

It's Mario-tastic and Yoshi-riffic!

Look who is sitting next to Yoshi and Mushroom, 

wearing his Mario shirt 

while playing Mario! 

If you are a perfectionist, wallpaper is really not for you.  Look away....

I had to piece the last piece...see how the bricks don't really match here.

You will only notice it if you are a bad boy/girl and you get put in a timeout in the corner.
And it saved me from buying another roll of paper.
My dad suggested that I do it right and order more paper.
Sorry Dad.  I know you love me anyway.
I'll go sit in the corner now.

Here is some additional Mario crap to finish the look.

• A photo of Conrad and Yoshi that I took with my cell phone in the back yard one day when I was laying out and the kids wouldn't leave me alone.  I uploaded in and ordered in B&W from Shutterfly.
• A MarioKart sticker decal that I ordered from eBay.
• A photo of Mario and Conrad that I took at the mall with my cell phone and ordered from Shutterfly.
• A Mario doll action figure that Conrad's Grandmother Suz purchased at said mall.
• A piggy bank to collect money to reimburse me for all the stupid Mario junk I sprang for out of Momma Guilt for moving the kids.

Can wallpaper I ordered today match wallpaper I ordered 2 years ago?

A few years ago, when I was completely frustrated with my ugly kitchen, I had another one of my "brilliant" ideas.  I decided I could wallpaper the laminate/Formica backsplash to create a brick effect.  This was around the time I attempted my m effer project, so I don't think I need to highlight the fact that I was trying to upgrade without spending any money.
I began my search by ordering wallpaper.  I got one roll. 
It said, "Hello, there.  I will make a lovely backsplash."

When wallpaper talks to you,

you might consider seeking professional help.

Then, I began searching online for ways to adhere wallpaper to Formica.

(In case you are curious, I would like to point out that this person did it.  So there.)

But somewhere along the way, I realized I must've been sniffing paint

to have even considered wallpapering Formica,

and I abandoned my project.

Fastforward to Summer 2010.

I am working on Conrad's room.  He wants a "Super Mario Bros" theme.  Most examples of Super Mario rooms are painted in light blue and plastered in Mario/Luigi/Yoshi decals.  I am much too sophisticated for all that nonsense.

So I decided to use the old brick wallpaper!

Then paint a complimentary color (not light blue) above the chair rail.

Good girls use primer when painting over purple.

Good girls use tape.

At least for the bottom and sides.

The top is completely negotiable.

Complete with a Mario Bros plate made by our friend, Mallory.

You know how there is always an issue??????  Why?????
The issue is this:
I only had enough paper to do about 1/4 of the room.  And I didn't know where I had purchased the paper in the first place, being that it was two years ago and I can't even find my car keys or remember my zip code.

So I have just ordered 4 more rolls of what appears to be a similar look from Decorate Today.  I know I didn't order the first roll from here, because they require that you order rolls in pairs, and I only possessed one roll.

Won't you wait by the mailbox with me in anticipation?

The other Molly is just as stubborn

According to one handy man online, 

"Molly bolts are impossible to remove once installed."

According to one "handy" blogger referring to herself in third person:

"Molly Morris finds it impossible to accept the impossible."

 Meet my evil twin Molly:

One of four Molly bolts sticking out of wall 

after removing wall hangings in preparation for moving.

Searching for answers at Lowe's landed with this wisdom-filled statement, "Good luck on that one."
My response, "Do you have caulk?"  (If you know how Texans pronounce the word caulk, you understand how dumb this sounded.  Not to mention the fact that I made it sound like perhaps Lowe's, one of the largest, if not THE largest, home improvement chain, does not carry the caulk family of products.  My husband was horrified.)  I actually meant spackle, but said caulk.  Why?

Anyway, we (husband strength is a plus on this project) ended up pounding the Mollies back into the wall, then I spackled over them.

Spackle - goes on pink, dries white.







Next, I sprayed the mess with Knockoff Texture, which you let dry for a few minutes, then knockoff with a straight edge.

Next, paint over it.  You are supposed to wait 3-5 hours.  I thought 15 minutes was enough.  The name of this paint color, ironically: "Patience." 

The project was relatively easy and looked mediocre after repeating all the steps from pounding to painting twice.

If that doesn't make you want to run to your local Lowe's in search of caulk, I don't know what will.

Good News!

If you haven't heard, we are moving and have sold our house!  And we have a contract on a beautiful disaster in Graham, TX.  You can count on lots of blog entries as we work to:

De-Purple

Disinfect

And try to find our home behind all the chaos.

Switching a Switch

Having hung light fixtures and ceiling fans, I decided to embark on a new project - replacing our restroom light switch that doesn't work very well.  This switch has been having real problems lately - it is finicky when you turn it on, then will go out at any given moment.  If you have ever been mid-shower when someone comes in the restroom, then leaves and turns out the light, and you are stranded with fully lathered hair in pitch darkness, screaming, "HEY I'M IN HERE!!!"...if this has happened to you...then you can relate to our plight on a small scale.

Step one - watching internet tutorials of handy men changing out light switches and making it look very simple.
Step two - trip to TrueValue to purchase a lightswitch.  Kids acted way too excited at store.
Step three - kids in timeout.

 The crew: my newly purchased light switch, pliers, flathead & phillips screwdrivers

Step four - remove old light switch plate, which should've come off very easily, but SOMEONE painted it to the wall because he/she didn't wish to do any prepwork before he/she painted the bathroom one evening in about an hour with some leftover paint from a botched job in the living room.  That's another blog entirely.

***ALERT - I forgot a step!  A very important one!***

Step three and a half - TURN OFF ELECTRICITY at the breaker box!  This is the most important step.  At least 15 people, plus old handy internet man, told me to do this first.  Dear Daughter got to come out of timeout to help me on this part.  It helps to have someone scream across the house when you hit the right switch!

Step five - remove lightswitch and take out wires. 

 Remove the top and bottom screws to take out the switch.

Step six - put wires in new holes on new lightswitch.  Wires didn't fit.  It appears that I purchased the wrong thingy.

 But they look exactly alike.  Shouldn't that count for something?

Step seven - kids get to come out of timeout for bonus trip to TrueValue.  Good for them - they will have a chance to redeem themselves. 

 30 minutes later....

I just returned from the trip and these were the happenings:

• I explained my situation and showed my switches to a lady at Higginbotham-Bartlett TrueValue who offered to help/blame me for everything.  She told me, "WELL, it doesn't work because YOU NEED A 15 AMP Switch."  She was very know-it-all-like.  I replied, "This is a 15 amp switch."  That ticked her off.  Then I explained that the wires wouldn't fit in the slots and she just said, "Well, we don't have those."  So I returned my switch and received a credit of $3.98, while thinking to myself words that rhyme with "switch."

• We went to ACE hardware, where I once again gave the low down to a worker, this time an older, handy-type man.  He explained that all I had to do was:

use my pliers to make a loops in the two wires:

wrap the loops around the screws:

 and tighten the loops and the screws.

 

• Then he proceeded to sell me the exact switch I had just returned to TrueValue.  However this time it only cost $0.98!  I guess by "True Value" they meant "if you enjoy paying 300% extra and getting made fun of."

Step eight:  I completed the project just as handy ACE man told me to - in about 1 minute (no kidding.)  Now, we have lights!  

Thought for the day:  Sometimes old men are less grouchy than old women.

And I have a lightbulb that I need to replace.

Got Gross Grout?

"GROUT" is such an ugly word.  And unfortunately, it is sometimes an ugly, dirty part of your home.

I noticed that the grout in our living room had absorbed every little drop of liquid that had been spilled on it over the years.  Despite my efforts, I could not get it clean.  I could easily blame the kids or Rex, but I was just as guilty since I generally rush out the door each morning carrying two tons of school stuff and my much needed cup of coffee.  The coffee never makes it to the car without spilling a little here and there.  Once, I even left it on top of the car and didn't realize it until I stopped at a red light.  "What is that noise?  What is rattling on top of the car?  And where is my coffee?"  That mystery took at least 10 blocks to solve. 

Anyhoo, grout + spilled stuff = gross and impossible to clean.

 Take your eyes off that precious cat and feast upon the tile:  

Something about the tile just doesn't look clean to me.

I decided to tackle this problem last summer.
I visited Lowe's and purchased these products:

Then I spent the next several hours removing rugs and small furniture, scouring my grout with the cleaner and the brush, which was about as thrilling as it sounds.  I meticulously vacuumed the tile, swept the tile, mopped the tile, steam-mopped the tile, steam-mopped again, and collapsed from exhaustion.  But just for a sec because I knew I had to work quickly before the grout soiled itself again.

The next step will sound familiar to you if you read my "Patio Painting" blog.  I simply poured the grout sealer into a paint tray and rolled it on the tile and grout.  I did half the floor, let it dry for 24 hrs, then moved the heavy furniture to the "done" part and finished the remaining section.

The result was beautiful, somewhat glossy (which appeals to my Type A semi-clean freak nature) tile.

Ignore the backpack thrown in the middle of the floor; I said I was "SEMI-clean freak."

See the "wet look?"  The best part is, we can drop Popsicle (the kids,) spill an entire jar of salsa (me,) or spill coffee (me again,) all we want...and it mops right up!  Well, it doesn't mop itself up, I still have to do that part.