Conquering the Cornice

This was hanging in our room.

I wasn't crazy about it.

So I had Marc take it down.

Here it is in the garage before Marc mowed over it with his pickup.

It was really dirty.

Dust Bunny?  More like Dust Big Brown Bear.

Pledge?  Pledge??? Pledge!!!!!

I took all the fabric off it, and Monica helped me staple on new fabric.

I got a new staple gun.  It shoots nails.  But it doesn't shoot nails into wood.

And I painted over the tire tracks left after Marc mowed over it with his pickup.

Here's that one photo of it in our bedroom floor by the neglected treadmill.

I couldn't get it put back together.

Then Papa Larry and Mary came to visit and see the kids.

When Larry and Marc left to watch a football game, 

Mary looked at the cornice said, "We can do this."

And I said, "Whatever Crazy Lady."

Just kidding,

I said, "O.K."

And we proceeded to spend about 2 hours

• tapping in tiny nails.
• splitting wood.
• pulling out tiny nails.
• discussion and problem solving.
• changing the tiny nails to new spots.
• higher level thinking (ouch-that was less painful in my teens.)
• late night Wal-Mart run for hardware and a new tool.
• and finally, hanging this lovely (yet cumbersome) creature.

 

Conrad calls it, "That snowflake thing."

I think I'll dust it every so often.

Or vacuum it.

Very delicately.

As to not disturb any of those tiny nails.

blinds

When we move, we generally replace all the blinds.
This is what inspired my rant regarding power tools the other day.
But it does make your home look nicer.

These blinds are ugly.

Here is another image.

I think the camera angle captures them well.

I like to order blinds from American Blinds.

You just measure your window, and your blinds are delivered to your doorstep.

I bet it saves energy, too.
But I wouldn't know for sure.
I try to avoid looking at my energy bill if at all possible.
It's usually pretty massive.

This is an after shot.  You can add a ribbon for a little extra$$.
I have to stop typing now because I cannot get out of this caption box.
Seriously, what is going on here?
Oh well.
Technology wins again.
The end.

If you give your wife a shopping trip...

If you agree to go to Pier One with your wife,
to return some curtain panels she decided not to like,
she will talk you in to meeting her mom for lunch at Chili's.
On your way there, you will have to pull the pickup over on the highway because she will be worried that the receipt has blown out of the Pier One sack.
And she knows from experience they won't take it back without the receipt.
Once you arrive at Chili's, her mom will give you the awning she had made custom made for your window frame.
On your way out of the restaurant, you will notice a Best Buy, and she will talk you in to buying a receiver for your home audio system.
Then the kids will notice a Halloween Shop, and talk you in to buying them costumes.

Then your wife will realize the Pier One she needed to go to is another 30 minutes away.

So you will have to drive.

You'll hit a big bump and the car will go airborne.

She will realize she needs to use the lady's room.

When you get to Pier One, she will talk you in to getting a big fake tree.
You will take it out to the pickup, and realize that it needs to be covered.

She will tie a couple of Pier One sacks to it and suggest using the awning and you will half-heartedly agree

You will place the receiver on top of it to pin it down.
Then she will tell you she still needs to use the restroom.
You will stop at Target.
Park far away so noone will steal the receiver and the tree.
And let everyone go in and use the facilities.
"Stop stepping on the costumes!  Why are they out of the packages?"

Then head home.
But on the way home, the awning is about to blow out.
Seems the receiver is not holding it down well enough.
She will talk you in to pulling over to fix it.
And get a slushy.  Because she is thirsty.  And why not a lottery ticket?
Lucky you, the lottery ticket is not a winner, so you don't have to stop and cash it in.
Then you will....finally....get home.
Only to realize,
You need to unload a tree.
Install an awning.
Wire a home audio receiver.

And your wife will suggest another shopping trip.
Back to Pier One for some cute stuff she decided she wants.
And if you agree to go to Pier One with your wife....

It Takes a Village

Adapted from the Great Hillary Clinton.....

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Tipper family. Thank you all so much. Thank you. I am overwhelmed by your warm welcome. help. 

You know, we are gathered here together to have a really good time make a nice room for Carly Rae Morris. I am overwhelmed and very grateful to all of you. You know after this reception project. I think you all are ready for the rest of this convention home renovation, which has already been so positive time consuming and good exhausting and expensive. 

I know and you know that Chicago Graham is my kind of town. And Chicago North Texas is my kind of village.
I have so many friends here, people who have been important to me all my life, and it seems like every single one of them has given me advice on this speech that was unsolicited. One friend suggested that I appear here tonight with Binti Croaker, the child-saving gorilla Red Eyed Tree Frog from the Brookfield Zoo FrogTape. 



Another friend advised me that I should cut my hair and color it orange purchase an ACE Hardware Apron and then change my name to Hillary "Rodman" Clinton Ace Morris. 


But after considering these and countless other suggestions, I decided to do tonight what I've been doing for more than 25 I wish to count years; I want to talk about what matters most in our lives and in our nation - children and families finely decorated and renovated homes.


Right now, in our biggest cities and our smallest towns, there are boys and girls being tucked gently into a poorly coordinated bed, and there are boys and girls who have no one to call mom or dad accent pillows, and no place to call home window treatments...

Right now there are parents worrying: "What if the baby sitter is sick tomorrow finds my wine stash?" Or: "How can we pay for college this fall for Botox?" 
 
Right now there are parents questioning a popular culture that glamorizes sex and violence, smoking and drinking, and teaches children that the logos on their clothes are more valued than the generosity in their hearts pretending they don't watch MTV anymore.

But also right now there are dedicated teachers preparing their lessons for the new school year blogs and questioning their career choices

 

Of course, parents, first and foremost, are responsible for their children.  But we are all responsible for ensuring that children are raised in a nation that doesn't just talk about family values, but acts in ways that values families also have an asthetically pleasing environment in which to flourish... 
 

We all know that raising kids home improvement is a full-time job and since most parents work, they are, we are stretched thin.
And we have learned that to raise a happy, healthy and hopeful child with exceptional taste and demands-a-plenty, it takes a family, 

 it takes teachers pharmacists, who work for Target, like giving gifts,

and get an employee discount on room accessories,

"Extra Employee 10% Off!  I'll give Carly some stuff!"

it takes clergy mother-in-laws, 

who will come help paint each and every house, 

no matter how many times you move, 

"I helped Molly paint...again.  We get it right then she moves again."

it takes business people Mimi's who can sew, 

"Molly comes up with crazy ideas and I "make it work."

it takes an online community leaders, 

"I accept PayPal."

it takes those who protect our health and safety offer free shipping and discount prices 

it takes all of us.
Yes, it takes a village.
And it takes a president needy person. It takes a president pathetic soul who believes not only in the potential of his own child, a repossessed home but of all children hitting up family members for help...often...maybe too often... -, who believes not only in the promise of each of us as individuals making cheap stuff look expensive, but in our promise together as a nation. It takes a president home improvement idiot who not only holds these beliefs but acts on them. It takes Bill Clinton me.


Thank you very much.