Ding Dong the Hot Tub is Gone!

After months of wondering HOW we would do it....

How?  When?  Why?

After having multiple people say they want it, just to back out because they couldn't find a way to take it....

Really...who in their right mind could resist THIS?

After this company quoted us $200 to remove it, then dodged our emails, and finally increased their quote to $350....

Sure!  We will help you!  NOT!!!!  But check out our bikini model!  We rock!

We finally did what project starters on a budget must do. 

 Off to Wal-Mart for a crow bar and a sledge hammer/axe.

Then some good old elbow grease from the hubby and his friends.  Because men rock!  And friends rock!

Shout out to a good friend and a student for their help!

And just when you think it might be time to call Jeff Foxworthy in to give him some new material...

Yup - the men tied it to the truck and drug it out! 

The result:  A place to sit and Bar-B-Q our roadkill.

If you think possum is the other white meat, you might be....

And just as one project always leads to another 7, I believe I will paint the concrete!  And buy new cushions!  And call an electrician to cap the electrical wires!  

Let's hear it for the pests!

I recently had a scorpion in the mailbox, sitting on the mail, apparently just waiting for my arrival to collect my credit card applications, coupons I will never use, and bills. 
So I am always very careful when I open the mailbox now.
Well, it appears that some friendly visitors have come to help rid me of my infestation.

They love each other.  Their love is one.  Or maybe one is about to eat the other.  I'm no expert.

Now go forth and multiply! 

Feng Shui

I was searching through our online photos looking for some good ones for an exciting post I am putting together regarding blinds, when I came across these:

Droopy Fans from our patio at Big Spring House

Our West Texas based realtor told us they were "Feng Shui." 
No, I'm not kidding.

Example of Feng Shui Bedroom

Example of Feng Shui Patio

Another shot of our West Texas Feng Shui Fans.

I did some research:

•  Feng shui - Literally translates as "wind-water" in English.  

^{Wind - fans "make wind."  
Well, good fans anyway.
Water - had to have played into the drooping process.}

^{Our realtor had a valid point after all!}

I went ahead and replaced our fancy feng shui blades with outdoor blades.

Awning

The heat...it's September.  Why...so...hot????
Today brought a new project.  Outside of Carly's room, there was an old awning.  It was shredded and had turned into a hornet habitat. 

(I hate when I cannot find a before photo.)

Didn't take a "before pic."  Just use your imagination.

My mom helped us take it down.  She has never been a fan of ripped fabric.

The frame was still in good shape.

Then she found an awning place in Fort Worth that replicated it.
That was really nice of her.
Marc and I spent a great deal of time sweating it out trying to figure out how to put it back up.

I, for one, considered running away at one point.
But considering how bad I smelled (did I mention that sour rainwater spilled on me?  And I was wearing my "dog poop" shoes?) - I figured no one would take me in.

We considered taking the frame down all together.

We tried a multitude of tools.

We tried sheer force.

Then we tried gently sliding it in, 

which worked.

New awning.    Same old ladder.

You use zip-ties to hold it onto the frame.

Underneath shot.

And there you have it.  Another drop in the bucket.

White after Labor Day

We need to have a little chat about the color white.

Check out this photo of my cute little guy:

 

 

*Most likely, it is not Jan 1, 2007.  

I had issues with my old camera and after setting the date 

about 7,000 times, only to have it reset each time I turned it off, 

I gave up on the process and it became 

New Year's Day every day for several years. 

However, let's assume that this photo was, in fact, taken sometime between Labor Day and Easter, just for argument's sake.  In the background of the photo, my house is CLEARLY wearing white (plastic rain gutters.)  Being the fashionista that I am (on a budget, who shops at Target) I could not allow this travesty to go on.  My house was embarrassing itself in front of others.  The other houses in the neighborhood were beginning to point and laugh.  

So I took a little trip to Sherwin Williams to explain my hot mess to the experts.  The solution:

 *Thanks to a new camera, it is no longer 01/01/2007

This little can right here, Bonding Primer.  You paint it on your white plastic rain gutters, it dries very quickly, then you paint over it with your house paint.  

This is the final product ONE YEAR later:

Isn't she pretty with her new uniform accessories?  No embarrassing peeling, bubbling, or white after Labor Day.
Unfortunately, she is showing her age in the back.  I captured this photo of the junk in her trunk:

Bless her. 

All of us thirty somethings can relate to this simple fact:

Sometimes paint is not enough. 

Re-screening

One of our favorite aspects of our current home is the screened-in porch.  Unfortunately, recently after we moved in, our family proved to be especially harsh on the screening.  Many factors went in to the deterioration of the screening.  Namely, our 12-year-old dog Rex. 

 

Bless his heart - he has cataracts.  He proceeded to bust out every screen within a year's time.  You see, Rex doesn't know he's old.  He likes to take off after birds, skunks, armadillos, or anything else seen or imagined in the yard. Nothing makes a home look more scrappy than ripped and torn screens. So we decided just to rip them out.  This has made our porch very accessible for Rex, which he has no doubt enjoyed.  But the dust and dirt blow in, not to mention mosquitoes and flies. 

I have tolerated this eyesore for about 3 years.  We had an estimate for replacing the screen with cement board ($600) and also discussed taking the screening frame out all together, but the best solution was to re-screen.  I have resisted the urge to re-screen, knowing that Rex was just going to get stimulated and bust it out again.  However, I simply could not stand it any longer and decided to roll the dice.  Some Internet tutorials and a trip to Lowe's later, I had the following tools for my project:

• A roll of vinyl screening ($40) 
• a giant 100 foot roll of spline (maybe around $9) 
• a cheap pizza cutter spline tool (about $3 and I don't know it's real name) 
• and a new razor blade tool ($7 or so)  
• I also needed some scissors (not pictured) and a flat head screw driver. 

And I had to stop by Dillard's for a new pair of shoes ($90) and the kids and I ate at the Food Court ($20 Chinese since Chik-Fil-A was closed because it was a Sunday.  Why do I always crave Chik-Fil-A on Sundays?)  So all-in-all, it cost less than the $600 estimate from our contractor, and momma got a new pair of shoes.

The first step was to remove the old spline.  This is where the flat head screw driver comes into play.  I decided to make an abstract art piece out of the removed spline.  "Homage to Old Spline."

Lovely!  The next step was rolling out the screen and cutting it very liberally to the size of the screen frame.  I was concerned because my Internet tutorials were a.) men and b.) the frame was laid flat on the ground.  But the fact that I was a.) female and the screens were b.) upright, did not seem to matter.  I used my little pizza cutter to roll the spline into the groove on the frame.  I wished I had not cheaped out on the pizza cutter tool.  I had to press really hard (in fact, I was sore for at least two days after this project.)  Sometimes, my hand slipped and I injured myself on the metal framing, which caused me to use a Chinese version of my increasingly favorite home improvement curse word.   I was surprised and a little concerned at how easily it flowed from my mouth.

Notice how I posed my finger so that you could see my injury and possibly garner some sympathy?  Anyway, this step looks much easier than it is.  I did 5 screen panels, and it took me about 3 hours, so it's not like you just roll it in and breeze away.  I asked my husband to help, but even he struggled with it because apparently it's not just strength, but also finesse involved.  He out-did me in the  strength department, but my finesse was the deal breaker.

The last step is trimming the excess screen.    Notice how I angled the knife toward the frame rather than inward toward the screen?  That is because it is easy to do this:

Which makes me very NOT happy after working so hard to get to the trimming step in the first place.  Live and learn people.
The screen product I purchased (vinyl) did not match the screen product from 1994 on the top portion of the patio, but I think I can live with the two-toned effect. 

Also, I ran out of screen, so one panel (not pictured) was left open.  I thought this was a  fair compromise for Rex, since he'd still be able to rush out of the patio to chase any would-be intruders in our yard.  Unfortunately, the phrase "You can't teach an old dog new tricks" appears to be true, since Rex has gone face first into the new screens multiple times already.  However, so far they seem to be holding up against the geriatric force of my dog. 
In closing, I have to mention that our recent rain made my job somewhat dirty, since I had to sit in the yard to access the screen frames.  My pushing and straining and overall unwillingness to give up on my project no matter the fact that I was sitting in mud and my hands were bleeding yielded this little product right here:

Yes, that is grass you see wrapped around my button.

Patio Painting

I have always wanted to paint my concrete patio but thought it would be too complicated. Well, it finally got so dirty out there, I was pushed into trying it. Well, that and the fact that there was a "Stain Your Concrete" display at Sherwin-Williams, where I frequent. So I picked up the pamphlet, read the directions carefully, and dropped about $100 on supplies.
So here is the before...
Step One - Removal of Accumulated Porch Crap - We had a lot of junk on our patio. I put it all out in the yard. It was not a pretty sight. Then I swept and hosed off the patio.

Step Two - Etching. I bought a bottle of the etching solution, which is basically a strong acid. The directions say to pour it into a watering can and evenly pour it onto your patio. With all my stuff everywhere, I couldn't locate my watering can. Do I have a watering can? Anyway, I decided to dump the acid into my mop bucket, and pour it onto the patio. It immediately bubbled up and ate the top layer of concrete off my patio. You have to use a broom to scrub it in and rough it up until the bubbling stops. And go in small segments, and you are supposed to wear goggles. Which I didn't. But later, when I rinsed all the solution off, and some water ricocheted into my eyes, I wished I had just put on some sunglasses or something. "Is my eye burning? I think it's burning. Maybe not. Wait. I think it is." One more thing, the rinsing process took awhile, and I made sure and bought the type of etching solution that would not harm my yard. Which is funny, because my yard is mostly weeds and we have spent hours spraying Round Up on it.

Step Three - Wait 24 hours. I had to wait longer because it did something strange in West Texas - it rained. Yes, and all my stuff was out in the yard. The strong WTX wind blew everything dry anyway. Except for my rug, which I decided to trash because I pictured it marinating in the wet dog poopy yard. I just couldn't get over that.
So this is what my newly etched patio looked like. Etching solution is supposed to make it feel like sandpaper.
Step Four - Begin staining around the edges. I didn't tape it off. But you could if you like using the fun blue tape. The weather was another bummer. The entire time I was painting, the wind was blowing 90 mph, so I finally gave up. Blades of grass and sand were sticking to my paint stain.

Step Five - Roll it on! When the wind died down, I had to re-sweep the sand dunes off the porch. Then I could begin to paint. You just roll it on, going in the same direction. I used a basic hand-roller. When I was finished going that direction, I placed the roller inside it's original package, threw away my first paint tray lining, and waited for about 3 hours.

Then you roll on another coat, going perpendicular to your original direction. It began to get dark outside, and maybe it was the paint fumes, but several times I had to ask myself, "Wait, am I going in the right direction?" I hope that is normal.

Now all that's left to do is obsess about all the dust that is blowing on my new pretty patio! I think now that it is stained, the dirt won't become so "ground in" and I'll be able to get it cleaner.

Also, I need to buy a new rug.