Let's hear it for the pests!

I recently had a scorpion in the mailbox, sitting on the mail, apparently just waiting for my arrival to collect my credit card applications, coupons I will never use, and bills. 
So I am always very careful when I open the mailbox now.
Well, it appears that some friendly visitors have come to help rid me of my infestation.

They love each other.  Their love is one.  Or maybe one is about to eat the other.  I'm no expert.

Now go forth and multiply! 

New lights and fans

These are the lights I installed this week.

Project #1 - Carly's room:

Carly's Old Fan on the Ground. She'z lookin' like a fool with her fan on the Ground.

New plain white fan!

Complete with the dolphin that has proudly flown the fans in many of Carly's rooms.

Project #2 Hallway light:

Before - unworking fixture.  Use your imagination. I forgot a "before photo."  Deal.

After - Nice!

Hallway - illuminated.  Great for waking kids in the mornings.

Project #3 Kids' Bathroom

Before:  Look!  Another penta-hexa-octa-polygon smiles down upon us!

After!  This is the one I misunderestimated in size.

You can see the outline of the old fixture on the ceiling.  Just like that, one project leads to another.....

Project #4 Master Bedroom Monstrosity:

This was huge and heavy.  It had 5 arms, 4 legs, and 2 antennae.  It ate small children for dinner.

The new fan is clean and pretty.

There!  I did it!  I'll start another round of ordering fixtures after payday.

FANtastic progress

I love George W. Bush so much.  In 2002, I waited in line for 3.5 hours to vote for him.  And I was pregnant.  And I had a 2 year old in a stroller along for the ride.  I should've received some kind of Bush medal.  Instead, I got a drastic drop in the value of my Roth IRA. 
Anyhoo...

It is no surprise, and Bushy's #1 fan, that when I ripped open the boxes to my new light fixtures,  a Bushism came to mind:

Seriously, they were bigger than expected.

"I misunderestimated the size of these things."

I also hung two fans in LESS than the time the directions told me it would take.  I have learned to read the directions carefully.

That's right, Bushy. Her is reading manual.

"You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able
to pass a literacy test."









 Carly helped me by finding the screws when I dropped them, and cutting electical tape for me.  She is turning in to quite the helper.

Yes, they is learning.

"Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?"








I didn't know what to do with the old fans.  I hated to fill a landfill with them. 

What the heck.  We tossed 'em in the dumpster.

"Goodbye from the world's biggest polluter." --(in parting words to world leaders at his final G-8 Summit, punching the air and grinning widely as those present looked on in shock)










 And I did this all for our family.  Because I know that

My wings is taking dream, Bushy.

"Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream."

And as often as we move, if I perhaps didn't do something quite right

Ahh, what a beautiful person.

"I'll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office."  wiring electrical box.







  I took lots of photos.  Someday I will post them.  In the meantime, I am waiting for my Bushy's #1 Fan Medal to arrive by mail. 

Or I'll accept a nice green sash.  Whatever.

Another Brass Frame Painted

A couple of weeks ago, I painted our fireplace frame.  This marks my forth consecutive fireplace frame spray-painting.  We have owned 5 homes.  That is a ratio of 4/5.

Actually, our first home didn't even have a fireplace.

I used some steel wool to scratch the lovely golden surface and taped some newspaper to the glass.

Carly was making the rounds in the neighborhood with her school fundraiser.  Poor neighbors.  You can't resist that smile.

Final product.  Let's be honest here - this room is still ugly.

This is the last large room that I need to paint.
There's so much...
WOOD....
It's too woody.  Or woodsy.  Or whatever.
Plus with the tree and the bird and the wheat.
I'm feeling a little lumberjackish.
Which is not the look I am going for.
I am un-inspired.  Ideas?
Maybe I can find some plaid flannel wallpaper to complete the look?
And I can order some wall words that say:
"How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood."
And I can order one of these 4' chainsaw bears - for the  corner.

Here's a video of me spraypainting.
Why?  I don't know.

Watch it, then give me some ideas for my living room.

I need a laundry room keeper

I don't need a housekeeper.

The house is usually fairly kept.

What I need is a laundry room keeper.

This is embarrassing.

She (or he) wouldn't even have to do laundry. 

I do my laundry on Fridays.

This photo was not taken on a Friday.

He (or she) would have to organize this box of wires.

And old remote controls.

And manuals to electronics.

Most of which we don't have anymore.

Don't stick your hand it there.  It might get caught.

And he (or she) would have to stick some stuff in the attic.

Or maybe make a donation.

To the city dump.

Free to good home.  Broken lamp

Oh, forget it.
It would be too much to ask of anyone to sort through this mess.
I'll just shut the door.
Problem solved.

Kids' Bathroom - the fruits of my hard labor.

Before photos:

Paint dripping down baseboards from bad paint job.

Worn wood with ugly/missing handles

After photo:

White cabinets, fresh neutral paint. Not enough screws to finish the handles.

It is still a work in progress, but it feels like a new room already!

Maintaining your cheery disposition.

I am currently painting the kids bathroom, including the cabinets.
I started out happy.
And am growing frustrated.
So I am generating a list in my head for fun.

Things you need to paint your bathroom

• paint & primer
  
• good quality paint brushes of all sizes
• frog tape
• sand paper
• caulk, screwdrivers, etc.

Things you need to paint your bathroom

while maintaining your cheery disposition*

(*assuming you have a cheery disposition to start with)

• teeny tiny hands
  

 

Barbie will be more than happy to help you paint the itty bitty spots.

• a contortionist
  
  

He'll do.  One foot on the toilet, one on the bathtub.  Now paint that top edge while ducking to avoid the ceiling.

• Poison Control

I managed to eat paint.  Twice.

• Strong Antidepressants

Or a margarita machine.  Whatever works for you.

• A roller derby chick.

Don't invite her in.  Just ask to borrow her knee pads.  You'll be glad you have them when you are crouched down trying to paint behind the toilet.

•  A professional contractor

Me, "Can you fix drywall and rehang my towel rack?"

• Someone to entertain the kids.

Now let's leave your mother alone for a bit.  We'll go play an educational game in the other room!

 I didn't have any of these things.
And that's why I do not have a cheery disposition.
Anymore.
Because I had one to start with.
Really.